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Open In Case of Idiocy: How to Unstick Your Tongue from a Frozen Metal Pole

This post is part of our Weekend Notes series. Take a breather to get inspired by the power of steel and enjoy your weekend. 

It’s December, which can only mean one thing – it’s freaking cold, and Christmas music has been blasting from store speakers for the past 6 weeks. Yes, there’s no denying it, it is officially holiday season. In case you need a refresher on how this works, Hanukkah starts December 16, Christmas is right around the corner on the 25th, and Kwanza kicks off on the 26th.

As an ode to this time of the year, we’re here to offer you some unsolicited holiday advice: don’t stick your tongue to any metal poles. Seriously. We’re assuring you that it will stick – just ask any of your local firefighters.

However, perhaps it’s too late and you found this post by frantically Googling “how to unstick my tongue from a frozen metal pole.” In that case, you’ve come to the right place! Our friends at WikiHow have pulled together some tried-and-true techniques to get yourself unstuck.

As for tips on how to increase your intelligence for next year…well, we’re sorry to say you’re on your own.

Method 1 of 2: As the Victim


Don’t panic. After licking the pole a person will more than likely be frantic. You will serve as the calm voice talking them through this unfortunate incident. Also, if they are in desperate need, try breathing on it too. Be supportive!670px-Remove-a-Stuck-Tongue-from-a-Frozen-Surface-Step-2

Yell at someone nearby or kick your foot against the pole to get someone’s attention. If no one is around, it is up to you to act fast. Follow the directions below, if possible.


Breathe onto the pole.
 The moisture and heat of your breath will melt the frozen water that is sticking your tongue to the pole.


Take your finger, and put it in your mouth in order to get your finger wet.Now rub the part of your tongue that is stuck to the pole, and it will come off in no-time.

Method 2 of 2: As the Bystander


Get some warm water.


Pour the warm water over the person’s tongue slowly and gradually very softly pull the tongue, if it is not ready to come off of the frozen surface don’t try and pull any harder, just keep pouring water until the tongue comes off.

Happy holidays!

A Day-in-the-Life of a Professional Truck Driver